A foundation as we say relates to the base or the roots of any subject. Here, the subject is a child and issue persists with the ways of nurturing and raising him. Who as a parent does not want to have a peaceful and harmonious life with the kids. Yet, we come across so many disturbed families where the story of parenthood is nothing but full of tears and regrets. It seems really unbelievable that how as a parent one fails to understand a child. But the exact cause of this problem does not lie in raising. Rather, it lies in the development process of a child.
Every human is at his developing stage during childhood. Development and maturity of physical, mental, social and emotional state. The growth milestones are chasing the ways to be attained. At this tiny age, bonding with the child must begin. Bonding and emotional attachment are the two words to be carefully perceived here. We all have a bonding with our parents and that’s the reason we stand up to the place where we are today. Bonding can be merely looking after the needs of children, asking them about their pocket money, feeding and dressing them well. In fact, there lies a bond between every relation. Bond of friendship, bond of brotherhood etc. Parenting needs extra care and compassion for raising a child. Being emotionally attached means to understand the child even without words. To bring a sense of security from within a child, by our loving gestures, expressions, cuddles and kisses that no matter what, parents are always there to shield them. This is one of the reason itself that mostly children are more attached and share their feelings with their mother because their caresses never fades with age in her case. Emotionally secure children are mostly full of self-confidence and are found to be more affectionate to their parents. It’s not the quality that matters to children. It’s the depth that touches their tender hearts. Parents who do not have good enough time for their kids are generally swept away with stress, impatience and irritability. This is due to the lack of mental stability and absence of proper yoga and meditation practice in today’s busy life. To keep the temperament positive, every parent should be self-observant and enlightened enough by wisdom. When one decides to enter parenthood, he or she must be sure that they have enough rightful time for their kids. A heart of a child knows no rule, no language. It simply follows the gratitude and art of love which dwells inside him easily if being reciprocated the same by parents. If parents would shout in front of their kids, kids will learn the same. Kids have unprocessed and pure minds so they grasp very quickly.
To be a good parent for your child consider the following points:
- Learn to appreciate. Being kind to your spouse and showing a gratitude towards their every bit of effort at home would ultimately be something that is picked up by the kids as well. Always criticising others leaves a very negative effect on their minds. It brings a sense of low self-esteem and children begin doubting their potential. Likewise, if a child breaks a glass, he is being criticized, but if he clay paints a glass, he is barely appreciated…
- Be patient and polite. Patience is the biggest tool for parenting. Loosing temper on trivial mistakes by the kids would only get them distanced from you. Such kids gradually learn to keep their matters to themselves and try sorting them out on their own. Rather, they are drifted towards peer effect, which may prove very detrimental sometimes. As the kids feel comfortable being accompanied by the people of their own age group and all have same level of humour. Keeping a close watch and patiently listening to the kids is very necessary.
- Stick to healthy eating habbits. As a parent, you are the food instructor to your kids. If you are lifting up a bottle of soda, cold drinks or junk foods from the shop store, you cannot expect your kids to drink and eat healthy. Kids like to copy their parents.
Even, the disturbed childhood may lead to emotional eating disorders like anorexia (child does not wish to eat anything due to fear or sadness), bulimia (puking out the food after eating) or binge eating (eating abnormally more than required).
- Create positive aura at home. Children living in the environment where parents usually fight, abuse each other or lack affection for each other, are mostly found to be grown as drug addicts, rowdy, unsocial and depressed personalities. Tone of voice has a great effect on the behaviour and thought process of a child. Parents should bring up the spiritual and social awareness among their children. Act of charity, compassion for the poor and the animals should be taught. Sitting calmly and relaxing the senses by meditating and performing yoga asanas daily has an incredible positive effect on one’s personal behaviour. Guiding the kids in a friendly manner about wrong and right would always gain their trust in you. Such kids never think of deceiving their parents. Making a person assure of the feeling that he is the only one for you and you are the one for him, acts like a human reciprocation and this typical human nature strengthens the sense of security way more.
It becomes necessary to be strict sometimes while dealing with every kind of relationship. Be it friendship, love or brotherhood but except kids we don’t raise our hands on anyone. Then why can’t we build and strengthen the innocent foundation of kids with a much positive aspect by adopting a healthy way?
Himalayan Iyengar Yoga Centre
Dr. Shruti Bhardwaj,